1.Beats working in the drive through, but the hours aren’t that great
2.The hot shoes and sexy white uniforms
3.Needles: “The one times its better to be on the giving end of things”
4.Yes, the bleeding is normal, it will stop…sooner or later
5.First hand experience with new and unheard of diseases
6.Fun and exciting smells at every corner
7.Courteous and grateful doctors who are so appreciative of your work, and write friendly notes that are legible in the charts for you.
8.Charting practice to the point that you could navigate the space shuttle!
9.All the major parties celebrated with your CLOSEST friends at work!
10.Take comfort that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.
Signs you have been a nurse TOO LONG!!
You’re a strict believer in “TLC”: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.
You’re waiting for that one night “run in” with the man who created the call light.
Sure, not all patients drive you nuts; there are those who are catatonic.
You’re the only one that jokes at your “warped” jokes at family gatherings.
You may not know the hotline number for the movie theatre, but by gosh you know every 24-hour food delivery place by heart!
You can only tell time in military time.
Eventually, everything seems funny…or at least, you laugh at everything. What else can you do?
When the doctor asks what color the patient’s bodily fluids are you show them your shoes…
You have become a one-nurse band with all your scissors, pens, and other handy tools
You have become a walking drug encyclopedia and can out define any doctor in the hospital.
You carry meds on you instead of waiting for the pharmacy to send them down to you
You boycott ER and Grey’s Anatomy it causes flashbacks and nightmares.
You screen all your calls on your day off, no way you are getting conned into working today.
You can tell stories from work at a restaurant and people around you start gagging.
Your vocabulary of 4 letter words, and their uses, has tripled since you became a nurse.
People always come to you for a pen; they know you carry like 10 at once!
You can intubate friends at parties
Blood loss doesn’t really phase you…unless its yours
You live by the motto,” Winning the battle isn’t about being right, its persuading the physician you are smarter then they are”
You have told a confused patient your name was that of a evil co-worker, and to just SHOUT if they needed you.
You have made eating instant popcorn out of bedpans a tradition.
You’re the new winner for having the largest bladder on the floor.
You catch yourself checking peoples veins when you are out in public…
You sleep on the cafeteria table without any issues during your break, and can wake up refreshed after 15 minutes
You avoid going out in public, you don’t want to have to perform CPR on your day off. Saving lives is boring these days. And you just don’t have the patience for it on a day off
You have NO CODE tattooed across your chest
One night after much debate, a family brings in their frail grandmother to the nursing home for better care.
She eats breakfast, is given a bath then they place her in a chair next to a window looking at the garden outside.
She sits there a little while, but then begins to slump over in her seat. They run over set her back up, and then after awhile she begins to slump over the other way, the rush over, set her up again, and again…
This goes on all morning.
Later that day her family comes to see her, and her son asks her “ well how is it here?”
“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let me fart.”
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